Lack of Communication
by crazyasssoul
Summary: She was the perfect Alliance soldier. She didn't do love. But after defeating death twice, why does he ignore her? Why does he not visit? At least there's Victus... One-Shot, Garrus/Shepard(f) pairing. Enjoy!


She bolted through, her right shoulder slamming into the ground, her lungs losing the last remaining air they had making her gasp as she rolled to her side. Her left arm clutched her torso, trying to keep some of her blood in her body. Her unfocused eyes watched the sky, the once intimidating ships of the reapers now blew apart across the sky.

It worked.

She smiled triumphantly at what they managed to accomplish. The years of the council denying what she tried to prove. Years of species dying because no one wanted to listen. The loss of friends and comrades along the way as well as family.

It was over, all of it, finally.

She looked out her left, her eyes blurring further with tears at the still body of Anderson. With a shaky, pulled breath, she lifted herself into a seated position. The ground around them was burnt, littered with bodies and debris. With her right-hand shaking, she touched the comm in her ear.

"Th..this.. this is… Commander Lily Shepard. I…. If there is an… anyone by the beacon… help, help would be appreciated."

She waited a moment, her breathing laboured from the short sentence. Her ears ringing from the constant blasts and gun fire that never seemed to leave her. Her nose filling with the unwanted scents of death, gunpowder and metal. She waited.

Waited.

Waited.

When nothing came her fist clenched in the dirt, she screamed into the now dead war zone, tears streaming down her face, leaving few clean trails of unbloodied skin. She calmed her breathing, taking in a few deep breaths before slowly standing. She braced herself against the pain to come when she hoisted Anderson's body against hers and began walking up the long slip of broken road.

Her eyes darted here and there, her feet slipping from beneath her, but she caught them every time. Her knuckles white from the clutch on Anderson. She would not leave him behind, not after everything they fought for. She stopped for a moment, hitting the comm once more.

"I swear. I… If there is… is someone on the comm…. Not answering me… I'm going to kick their ass."

She was about to go off again when the sound of a ship came into her hearing. Glancing up she saw the familiar banged up ship landing a short distance away. As close as it landed, it seemed like there was a planet between them. She stilled as the door opened, her breath hitching as Garrus, EDI, and Tali stood before her. Everything seemed to slow down as her legs gave out, as she fell to the ground she watched as they ran to her. She wanted to brace for the fall, but her vision was already leaving her, her body became the full weight of everything she just wen through. The last thing she heard as her head hit the ground was the same voice she always listened for, always craved and would never forget.

"SHEPARD!"

-x-

She stood there, arms clasped behind her back as Anderson made his speech out to the crowd of soldiers, all from different races, ranks, and sectors. Her long hair that was usually down, was held back in a tight bun, small bits of purple hair were out of place, but she didn't dare fix them, not with almost every eye on her, most seething with anger, others adoration. She had completed the N7 training, finishing at the top of the list, she now held the record for not just the youngest, but the fastest to progress, and the fastest to move through each test thoroughly and in record time. She was the solider they were waiting for, she was the Commander they wanted for the Normandy in the Alliance, she was also the first woman to not only pass but surpass those before her. She even surprised the Council, giving her the title of the first human specter. She had enemies among the crowd, that she knew.

After Mindoir, losing her parents and two brothers, she became ruthless. Every mission they sent her on, she came out flawless, enemies dispatched, clean up easy, and minimal casualties. Throughout the years she ended up earning the nickname "Death's Shadow", everywhere she went, death followed. As much as she distasted the name, she did like the fact it made everyone eerie of her, save few like Anderson, Kaiden and Ashely. Most feared her, no one befriended her, and no one dared challenge her. At times she found it lonely, always playing the tough-skinned soldier, she was waiting for that one person to get through, but she also knew death followed her, with her family dead Anderson was the only who was actually close to her, but even then, she kept him at arms length, not quite ready for the death that would follow him.

Anderson finished his speech, saluting to her as she saluted back. The crowd gave their cheers, salutes and claps, but she knew deep down they were not for her, they were just show. They wanted on the Normandy, a chance to get off earth and earn a title for their worthless names that they didn't fight for to make a mark. A part of her pitied them, that they had no fight in them like she did, it's why she was where she was, she fought and fought with every fibre in her being, not wavering and always listening to her instincts. She followed Anderson off the stage, walking off towards the small elevator that led to the docking area, where for the first time, she was going to meet the crew of Normandy.

"Are you excited?"

"Not particularly. I haven't met anyone nor conducted my own research into each induvial to see if they're worthy of such a ship."

"Always business with you. For once, can't you just say you're happy?" Anderson shook his head, they reached the elevator, he hit the button, letting the doors shut.

"I am happy, though I don't see why I have to show it." She cocked her head to the side, watching him.

"It just shows others you still have a bit of humanity in you, that Mindoir and all the challenges since then haven't stripped you of that."

"Of course, Mindoir has changed me." She looked at him confused. "I lost my family all at once, had to fight for my life, and then I put all my effort to get to where I stand today, if I wasn't happy, I would be insane. I may not show it, but that doesn't make me less of a human."

"One day, someone will get through that exterior you have, I would love to be there for that." He only smiled at her as the doors opened once more, revealing the docking port. Off to their left was the Normandy ship. It was rather large for a stealth Alliance ship, black white and red with big white letters stating it was Normandy SR1. As a ship goes, it was quite beautiful, for an Alliance ship, it was gorgeous. She found herself already walking towards the doors without Anderson. She could hear him laughing behind her. Of all the years they knew each other, he knew she loved her ships, the way they were build, put together and painted, she found it all intriguing, how they were able to cross vast amounts of space in mere minutes. She stepped through the doors, the first ones closing as a voice came over the comm, automated.

"Decontamination in progress, please wait. Commander Athera Shepard on deck, Navigator Presley relieved of duty." The second set of doors opened revealing the inside of the Normandy. For the first time in a long time, she was actually excited.

-x-

Her eyes fluttered for a moment, the harsh lights piercing her eyes causing her to moan. She felt a soft hand on her wrist, making her look to her right, she found Chakwas looking down at her with concern. Her entire body ached, she looked at the doctor confused.

"I'm sorry Shepard, you need to sleep a little longer before you can come too." As if on cue, her eyes began to close once more against her will.

-x-

She had gone through the Normandy, meeting the crew. A few she didn't mind, others she found, lacking in personality. She was sure it was their nerves getting the best of them. Joker, or Jeff Moreiu, was easily her favorite, his effortless jokes, his proudness in his ability to pilot and his path that made him get to his spot today, she respected the man and what he put himself through. Wrex, the Krogan had an edge to him, he was once a convict, a body for hire, when he heard of the Normandy project, he signed away for the first chance he got, it was odd to her that the Alliance would hire him in the first place, but Anderson only assured her that his skills were something to come by and that they would clear his name after the years of service he signed on. She knew Kaiden and Ashley already. Tali was on their crew for her pilgrimage, she didn't quite understand, but she didn't question, she didn't exactly care all that much, it was nothing against the Quarian, she didn't exactly care for anyone. The last member she met used to be a C-Sec officer, at his insistence, Anderson didn't join her for this one. She was confused, but carried on anyways, apparently, he arrived just after she made her rounds, he was now in the lower levels, attending to the Mako.

She stepped out of the elevator, giving a brief nod towards Ashley and Wrex, turning to her right she saw a pair of feet sticking out from underneath the Mako. Getting closer she could hear some swearing, but she didn't know which language it was from, judging by the feet and leg shape, she assumed Turian. She was actually surprised to see a Turian on her ship, mostly they stayed within their own ranks and species, moving up in their own military, let alone joined humans and other aliens. Sensing that he didn't know she was there, she hooked her foot under the wheeled board and tugged gentle, causing him to swear even further. When he slid out he cursed again and then stilled at her presence, his eyes roamed her, the light blue visor on his face moving at a oddly fast pace, before he pulled himself under once more.

"Can it wait a minute?" Her hand slightly trembled, she had never met someone who wasn't afraid of her, even Wrex commented on her presence, he didn't say he was outright afraid of her, but that she held herself as a Krogan warlord would, making her respectable. At her sudden irritance, she yanked on the board once more, causing him to come out once more, he only sighed resting the wrench on his chest, lifting his head he arched an eyebrow.

"Is that how you greet every ranking officer above you?" She watched as he finally stood, putting the wrench down, crossing his arms and leaning against the Mako.

"You're a glorified human. You pushed yourselves when no one else would, you have death, so does everyone. I don't see what makes you special, but I figured being under your command would bring something exciting besides sitting in an office filling out paper." He pointed to the Mako behind him. "Though I see the Alliance didn't put much effort into this machinery as they did the Normandy."

"So, you're pissy that a human is now a spectre? You're on this ship, MY ship, because it conveniences you?" She watched him, her hands balling into fists.

"Oh, I don't care that you're the first human spectre. Or that this is your ship. I have my reasons to be here."

Without hesitating she punched the glass to the window of the Mako, small cracks leaking through and the trickle of blood going down her knuckles as her eyes bore into him, but he didn't flinch, instead stared at her.

"You realize I will have to fix that right?" She could hear the low growl in his voice, known as his subvocal, it was a warning to her. She grabbed the front of his cowl, bringing him down to her level, its then she watched his eyes widen.

"You will show damned respect while on this ship. I don't care if you despise me, or the others, but so long as you are under MY command, you will show fucking respect. I don't care for your reasons, nor do I want to hear your fucking sob story, you do as I say, or you get the fuck off my ship." She watched as his mandibles tugged into a small smile, his eyes glancing down before meeting hers again, making her glance down, he held a pistol to her stomach. This only made her anger boil over. She grabbed his wrist twisting it sideways, grabbing the gun and tossing it off to the side. She trained with Turion's, they gave her tips on how to take them down, or at least avoid their claws, she knew how to fight, and she would be damned if this one would show her disrespect. She hooked her foot behind his knee, sending him into the ground, she climbed onto his back, keeping his arm with her as she went. His arm was now across his chest, resting at his neck as she sat on his back, her lip in his ear. "You point a gun at me again, Turian, it will be the LAST time." She felt him vibrating, she brought her head forward enough, so he could turn to face her, to her surprise his eyes were dilated, he was enjoying this?

"I wanted to see if you could actually fight with a Turian." His voice had dropped a few octaves, turning almost into a purring growl, making her blood boil, although this time it wasn't rage. "The next time you need to let off steam, I'd like to see just how flexible you are." In a matter of seconds, he tossed her leg off his hip, whipping his arm around his head causing her to go with it. She was now pinned to the ground under him. She kicked out his knee, casing him to lose his balance, with the momentum she turned them over, so she was atop of him. Instead of pining him though, she crossed her arms and sat atop him, her hair now tussled and hanging off her shoulders, the purple and red glinting in the light. Her anger had now dissipated, she was more intrigued by him than anything now. He purposefully provoked her to see her fighting skills. Tilting her head, she watched him.

"What weapon?"

"The Viper."

She stood, outstretching her hand to him, which he gladly took. "Not bad, I assume you are a good shot?" She watched as his eyebrows shot up.

"I'm one of the best snipers that Turians have. I don't miss."

She walked away, hands clasped behind her back, ignoring the looks from Wrex and Ashley.

"Good, I'd hate to have someone who can't shoot watching my six." He gave her a puzzled look. "I look forward to seeing who has the better shot, Vakarian." With that the doors closed, not allowing him a chance to talk back.

-x-

She felt her body shaking, no, it wasn't shaking, she was pulsing, her biotics pulsing through her veins, it was agonizing. Her eyes snapped open, searching the room she was in. She was met with bright blue eyes hidden behind a visor. A taloned hand coming onto her chest, his voice low but loud enough for her to hear.

"Breathe Shepard, breathe."

She brought her own hand up, grasping his, she tried to even out her breathing, but it was then she noticed the pain, it ran through her entire body, she could feel her eyes rolling into the back of her head, voices shouting and calling out to her, but she could do nothing in turn.

-x-

A flood of emotions washed over her as she watched him practically saunter towards their group, his Viper slung over her shoulder as he took off his helmet. She could feel the respect towards him from the other Turians. She had understood WHY he had to leave, but a small part of her hated him that he did leave. She could hear General Corinthus talk, but she couldn't exactly hear the words, she just kept staring. It was Wrex who nudged her in her side that made her veer out of thought.

"We're here for Victus, Adrien Victus. He is said to be the next Primarch." Her voice came out like her Commander voice, earning an eyebrow raise from Garrus, but she didn't look at him, her eyes stayed trained on the General.

"I was fighting with him this morning, hell of a solider."

"Where is he now?"

"Not sure, we got separated, though it shouldn't be hard to find the wrecka-"

"INCOMING HARVESTER." One of the Turian soldiers shouted over their comms, sure enough a harvester came up and over a large pile of rock heading their way. Grumbling to herself she nodded her head forward, her helmet slamming shut as she brought out her own rifle, her biotics humming through her veins. She watched it fly for a few moments, watching the way it circled the satellite.

"God damn it, pay attention!" She screamed through the comms, the barrage of bullets stopping. "It's trying to knock out communications! I want a team to set up behind the satellite, another 2 on each side, the rest follow me." She could hear the General's sub vocals snapping with disproval, snapping her visor up she glared at him. "You can give me your damn vocals of disproval later, right now, do as I fucking say!" She could feel the eyes of many Turians around her, though she paid no attention, instead she bolted forward, hiding behind one of the ammo crates. Taking a couple breaths, she stood, her right foot coming on the stop supporting the bottom of her sniper, her visor knocking back once more as she took a deep breath, releasing it as her finger hit the trigger sending a barrage and mix of bullets and biotics towards the center orb in the harvester's chest. It then turned its sight on her, landing a few feet, ducking once more she saw Garrus off to her left, Wrex to her right, and the General a few paces behind them. The ground shook as it made its way towards them, she counted to 3 before bolting towards Garrus, knowing that Wrex would bolt forward, probably trying to take out a leg. She slid in next to him, his mandibles slacking a little as she perfectly fit behind the crate with him. She reloaded her rifle, aware that his eyes were on her.

"You can read our vocals?"

"Now is when you're asking that?" She rolled her eyes and stood once more, he followed suit. "Incinerator and armor piercing." She didn't have to tell him which one to use, they always had a system when fighting, and choosing which ammo to use was one of them. They left of a round of shots, the shield dropping instantly as Wrex charged in, taking out the front right leg. She watched as the Turians around them laid waste to the Harvester. In a matter of 10 minutes they had it in a pile of rubble. Satisfied she slung her rifle across her back and headed back towards the General, she felt a hand on her shoulder, shrugging it off she kept walking. "You can ask your questions when we get the Primarch."

"Athera."

She turned to face him, she had so many emotions running through her that the most prominent one was anger. If he knew Adrien was next in line, he should have remained at his side, regardless of the situations.

"I'm to full of emotions right now to give you answers other than sounding completely bitter and not punching you in your face. You have questions? So, do I. At least give me the courtesy of breathing first." She pivoted on her foot, nearly stomping towards the General, though the General's demeanor showed he was trying not to cower, either from her eerie glare, or the anger sub vocals vibrating off of the blue Turian behind her.

-x-

She stretched her body, her shoulders popping into place, her toes curling. Letting out a breath her body relaxed.

"You know, I still find it odd that humans allow their bodies to make those noises." His voice was low, but she could hear the friendly undertone. She smiled looking up meeting light brown eyes that stood out against his grey and pale plates.

"I would like to see your reaction to our contortionist."

"Your what?" He cocked his head to the side, earning a small chuckle from her.

"They are people who can bend their bodies in unconventional ways, you thought regular humans were flexible?"

"I would like to pass on that invite." He stood and made his way to her bed, helping her stand.

"Aww, but the circus is so much fun!"

She laughed again as she had to explain just exactly what a circus was. They made their way to the rehabilitation room where she spent most of her days gaining back her strength. It had been 7 months since the Reapers, since she fell through the beam, since well, since the galaxy was united and actually worked together for once, especially since she was still alive. Reporters from every race wanted a moment to talk to her, get answers she undoubtedly didn't have. The Primarch had surprised her the first time he visited, but since he had been visiting her as often as he could allow himself away from his duties. Since the first fight they had together, they had grown close, he didn't see her as another primal earth human, but an actual solider worth of attention, someone who never gave up and got the job done when no one else could.

She had heard his sub vocals of approval, but it was the one of predatory when another Turian came close to her, or when any male flirted with her. She was flattered, very, especially to catch his eye, but she never said anything. Very few knew she had a biotic implant that allowed her to pick up on their sub vocals, and she wasn't about to start throwing it out there. Instead, she ignored it, though she knew by the glances from him, he knew she was ignoring. From the silence between them as the nurse helped her stand, placing weights on her ankles and making her walk back and forth holding onto metal poles she knew today would be the day he would say something, the way he didn't meet her eyes.

She should be taken by him, should be flattered to the point she should offer herself to him. That kind of relationship could change the dynamic of, well, everything. Yet she found herself not willing to jump on that boat, every time she thought about it her mind drifted to those damned blue markings and even more crystal blue eyes.

He had stopped visiting 2 months ago, roughly when the Primarch began coming around. She had asked around the Normandy crew, who to her reluctance, hung back, helping around the area where they could but always close to the hospital. He had apparently returned to Palaven, helping any injured, returning to his family. She didn't blame him, she would return to hers if she had one, but a part of her was angry at him. After everything they had been through, he couldn't stop by at all?

Her hand slipped causing her knee to hit the ground, she could hear feet shuffling but she only held up a hand, no, she would not rely on anyone, where did it get her? Taking a few deep breaths, she lifted herself up onto shaky legs, her hand grasping the railing and she made her way back, sitting into the wheel chair at the end. Popping off the breaks she wheeled out of the room, already covered in sweat, her muscles already screaming at her, but she didn't care, didn't want to hear the voices calling after, ignoring the fact that heavy steps followed slightly behind her. She slowed outside one room, she had seen him twice, but she felt guilty about saving him. Anderson had lived, by some sort of miracle, he had lived, though he had lost his left leg. Each time she visited him though, he greeted her with a bright smile, asking how her recover was, telling her it wasn't her fault, that he was happy she went out of her way to bring him with her. Yet she couldn't face him, she felt the guilt of him losing a part of himself because of her selfish act. Pushing past she made it back to her room, it was small. A bed in the far-left corner facing a big window with light red curtains. The walls of course were white, though she had a few vases full of now dead flowers. She wheeled herself to the bed, hoisting herself up on weak arms and sat there on the edge, glaring at the floor.

"Something on your mind Shepard?" He dragged a chair over to her bed, sitting just in front of her.

"If you want to ask Adrien, ask." She heard the small intake of breath, a mumble under his breath.

"I'm not sure how to ask."

"I got the implant years ago, it was an experiment, a stupid one, but one I signed up nonetheless." She looked up and met his gaze. "At the time I was so angry at the world I wanted any advantage I could get, on any race. I hadn't expected it to work, at least this well."

"Is that why you ignore them?" She averted her gaze, looking out the window instead.

"No." Her voice was low, barley a whisper. "I just…" Her brows came together, she wasn't exactly sure either. It's not like she ever told Garrus anything. From what she could tell, he wasn't interested in her in the slightest, he was her friend, it was simple on his end.

"I'm not what you want." She could hear the hurt in his voice.

"I am flattered, really, I am Adrien." She turned to him, giving him a weak smile. "I thought about it, a few times actually, but every time… his eyes pop into my head, his markings, the way he's always been there."

"You're talking about Vakarian?" He gave a chuckle at her wide eyes. "For one, he's the only one on the Normandy that has 'markings', two, I've seen the way you were around him, the way you seem to come alive." His mandibles gave a flicker, pain and happiness. "You've come more out of your shell with me, since we've known each other, but I know when someone's in love with another." She let the tears fall, a sad smile coming across her face as she placed her head in her hands.

"He doesn't know."

"After all these years? You haven't told him? Once?"

"When was there a time?" She wiped the tears, running her hand through her hair. "We were after Saren, the collectors then the Reapers. We were always in another battle, always rushing in. Plus…."

"Is that why you've been, off, since he left?" He stood, patting her shoulder, lifting her chin with his talon. "There is no right time to tell someone, that's the whole point. I'll send a message out to him, get him to visit."

"He's with his family, helping rebuild-" She watched as he rolled his eyes at her, walking towards the door.

"I'm Primarch, he has to come when I tell him. I can assure you, Palaven is healing much faster than Earth is, he can spare some time."

Before she could say anything else he was gone. She flopped onto her bed letting out an exasperated sigh, just because he could tell him to come doesn't mean he would. Flipping her omni tool on she sent a message to Adrien.

-At least let me try and ask him first before you demand him to show face.

-You have 3 days to send that message.

She rolled her eyes, of course he would give her a time line. She let her eyes close, if he did show, how would she say it? What would she say? If he didn't come? Her mind raced as sleep welcomed her, drifting her back to a time where it was still simple.

-x-

She was training with James, he was fairly large for a human, not in just height but in brute muscle and strength. It was a nice to have someone that could actually take her training, take her random shots and still remain standing.

"Damn Lola, something on your mind?" He held up his hands in a T form, grabbing a water.

"No, why?" She caught the bottle he tossed to her, chugging half of it before placing the cap back on.

"You're more, erratic than usual. I can't read your next moves at all, it's like you want to knock me out." He gave a breathless laugh as he places his bottle down, he sat at the edge of the mat signalling a break. She sauntered over, before dramatically plopping herself in front of him. Her eyes darting towards the Mako where Garrus stood once more, he was shaking his head at something, then turned his head to catch her staring, she raised an eyebrow at him before looking back at James. "So that's it."

"What?" She tilted her head, trying to feign innocence earning a laugh from him.

"Still can't catch Scars gaze, eh?"

"As if." She crossed her arms. "What if I'm interested in the hunk of a man in front of me?"

"Oh Lola, I know you don't have eyes for me, as much fun as that would be." He raised his hands shaking his head.

"It wouldn't happen." She stood offering a hand out to him.

"You don't know that." She watched as he jogged over to Garrus, her eyes going wide before she gained composure, eyes narrowing and a hand going on her hip as she watched him make gestures with his hands before pointing in her direction. They both looked over at her and she raised both her hands in the air, what the hell was he doing! Swearing to herself she grabbed her bottle again, downing the rest of the contents before tossing it in the recycling bin. She swung her arms forward and back, trying to stretch out her muscles.

She stood with her feet together, taking a deep breath she let it out as she placed her hands down next to her feet, stretching the back of her legs. Slowly her legs raised into the air, moving from her hands to her forearms, her legs coming apart into splits in the air. She pulsed her legs back and forth, stretching the inner thigh muscles before letting her feet connect to the mat again. Marinating the splits, she reached forward to her toes, breathing in and out before switching to the other leg.

"Are these your regular stretches?" His stilled her for a moment, but she continued.

"Yes. They allow my muscles to relax so they don't become to tight and I run the risk of pulling something." She bent forward, her legs on either side of her as she rested her head on her hands, looking up to him.

"That actually seems uncomfortable." He cocked his head to the side, she shivered under his gaze.

"It's years of practice, doesn't hurt when you grow accustomed." She pushed herself up, standing and doing a massive stretch, her back popping along with her shoulders. "Let me guess, Vega asked you to stand in?"

"He said he couldn't take anymore blows from you, that you were to unpredictable for him and that I might have a better chance." He unclasped the giant chest piece, the large metal clinging as he placed it on the ground outside the mat. "I did tell you if you needed stress relief to ask."

"I forgot that I could track you down to Palaven and ask you to spar with me." She sarcastically bowed in front of him. "My apologies."

"I sense sarcasm Shepard." He clasped his arms behind him, his feet taking on a defensive position.

"Wow, you are learning something!" She then lunged at him.

They stood there, huffing, practically out of breath, they had been sparing for nearly 3 hours, each besting the other but neither outwitting the other. A part of her was thrilled she was matched with a Turian in hand to hand, the other part frustrated that he could read her movements. She got out of her defensive position, shaking her body and making her way over for a water, she tossed one of her shoulder, hearing it slosh as he caught it gingerly.

"You have good reach." She turned to find him standing within arms reach behind her, she stilled, looking up into his eyes, something, something was different.

"You use your flexibility well, though I could give a few pointers how to improve, at least when fighting Turians." His voice was lower than usual, not the usual Garrus. Her brows came together as she watched him, it was almost like he was purring? Could Turians purr?

"How so?"

He took her hand and lead her back onto the mat, her heart hammered in her chest as he turned to face her, what was she missing? He tapped his knee which only made her tilt her head, making him roll his eyes.

"Your right leg," He tapped his own right knee. Doing as she asked she waited, his long fingers gripping her ankle, sending a shiver down her spin. "Grab onto my right arm as well." She grabbed on, she was now balancing on his knee. He tapped her left leg letting go of her ankle. "Swing up and over onto my left shoulder. Use the momentum to swing forward, taking my arm with you, you can use it to throw me onto the ground." She calculated it in her head, bobbing it back and forth, she stepped off earning a quizzical look.

"If I need momentum, I am assuming this is a run at your enemy type move."

"Or small spaces, you can use walls to jump off of as well to get a different type of momentum." He stood, his hands beckoning her towards him. She bolted towards him, it was odd having him not fight against her, but her foot connected just above his knee, grabbing his arm, her leg whirling up around his shoulder, her fingers loosening just enough she could spin around his arm as she took the momentum and flung him over as she landed on her back on the back. She rolled and looked at him though he was already crouched.

"I'm assuming you also know how to land properly." She laughed as she lifted herself up as he just simple stood.

"It's timing mostly. You have to feel the right time to let go and continue the roll." He walked up to her, patting his knee again, holding up his arm for her to stable herself. "When your foot is here," He tapped to his chest, "Extend your leg, it will give you a little more momentum to flip." He moved her hands so one was on her shoulder and the other on his wrist. "Also, don't use both hands on my wrist, I can use that against you, especially if I know this move. Throw your leg up." She looked at him with narrowed eyes but did as she was told, her one hand still holding onto his wrist as one leg was over his shoulders the other planted on the ground. "When you fully turn to the front," He reached over, grabbing her so she swung in front of him, her leg trapped between them. "This leg should go up over the other shoulder, while this leg," He tapped her right leg, "should be the one to push off." He released her, taking a step back. "Try again."

She rolled her shoulders, her eyes darting across him as she planned out how fast she should move, if she should use force or not. Shaking her head she bolted towards him again, in a matter of seconds she was resting on her toes, her hands out in front of her as he laid on his back underneath her, she smiled triumphantly at him, he let out a soft chuckle, reaching out and tucking a piece of hair out of her face. That's when she heard it again, making her tilt her head and her eyebrows come together, making him still before retracting his hand and rolling out from under her.

"Let me know if you want to try again sometime Shepard." He gave her a curt nod and made his way to the elevator, not once looking back in her direction. It was one sound she hadn't heard, and one that was going to bother her.

-x-

It had been another 2 months, she had sent the message out, just simply asking if he was going to head towards earth any time soon. He had responded 4 days later stating he would head out when he could, but it wouldn't be any time soon. It was something at least. For the most part, she was walking on her own again, needing only a cane to lean on for when she took long walks. Adrien still came around, though he stopped with the over protectiveness, for the most part. She felt like he had gone into a protective brother mode after their talk, which she was surprised. They were sitting outside in the garden, it was mid summer, the breeze drifting by. She sipped her tea and watched the butterflies wisp by.

"How is Palaven repairing?" She kept her eyes to the sky, watching the few clouds drift.

"As good as it can. We've gotten most of our communication towers set up as well as military posts throughout."

"That's good." She smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes. She would be able to leave soon, but she wasn't exactly sure where she would go. There was earth, yes, but it wasn't Mindoir. Out of all the years travelling no where felt like home.

"Athera?" Adriens voice was low, he always knew when something was wrong.

"It's nothing." He placed a hand on hers, giving a soft squeeze. "Just not sure where to go after this."

"Why not go back to the Normandy? Travel and help eliminate any Cerberus rogue agents, any militia still out there."

"I'd need a crew for that Adrien. Most of the old crew has moved on, they're content staying on ground, I wouldn't take that from them."

"You-"

"Miss Shepard?" They both turned to see a nurse standing, a bleak smile on her face. "I have someone hear asking for you, shall I let them come?"

"I don't see why not." She looked at Adrien who only shrugged his shoulders. She rarely got visitors and the ones she did have all the nurses knew. They kept their hands clasped together, it had been something of comfort for her, she wasn't big on hugs, but this was a nice sentiment. Adrien suddenly pulled his hand away, making her brows come together. "Adrien?"

"I'll see you later Shepard." He abruptly stood and walked away, her eyes followed him in confusion until she stilled at the Turian standing at the doorway, Adrien stopped for a moment before walking into the building. She looked away, she thought she would feel something when he finally showed, but after waiting so long, she felt tired.

"Been awhile." She kept her hand on the table where Adrien has just held her hand, if he saw she didn't care. "What brought you out this way?"

"The Primarch asked me to come." She could feel the anger rolling off him but she only sighed.

"If that's the only reason then leave. If it takes the Primarch asking you to come visit me… just leave." She let her head fall to the side, her fingers rubbing her forehead as she rested. Wiping the few tears that fell she stood, her cane cool in her grasp as she walked towards the door where he remained. "But thanks for coming." She soldier pushed passed him, making her way back to her room. She could hear him huff before following her. The guard outside her room saluted. "Take a break, I have a feeling there will be shouting." He gave her a skeptical look but she only nodded her head in the direction of the cafeteria. Reluctantly he left as she walked into her room, tossing her cane onto the coat stand before sitting on her bed. The faint click of the door being closed behind him, he didn't walk in further, just remained at the door.

"What do you want Vakarian?" She winced as she brought her knee up to her chest, stretching the bit of muscle.

"Why are you so bitter? Is it because the Primarch left?" His tone was low, crisp as though he was demanding something from her.

"Bitter?" She glanced up at him, her biotics humming for a moment before she silenced them. "How about my best friend for 4 years doesn't bother to visit? Doesn't bother to answer to my e-mails, but as soon as Adrien tells you to come, suddenly you're here." She pronounced Adriens name on purpose, watching as Garrus chest flared slightly. "I wanted you here months ago." She dropped her leg, reaching out for the other one, hissing at the pain and deciding to let her leg drop.

"I did plan on coming back." He moved his way towards her bed, stopping a few feet in front of her, glancing up she watched as his eyes roamed her, stopping at the scars, old and new.

"That's what everyone says." She waved her hand in the air, looking out the window. "The only one that actually visits is Adrien. Anderson got moved to another facility to be better rehabilitated on his leg yet he still writes to me." She could hear the faint growling from him again, making her scoff and flair her arms in the air, jabbing at his chest. "What? What do you have against the Primarch? Hmm?" His hand shot out, grasping her wrist.

"Possibly because I spent years trying to catch the attention of my Commander yet she is easily captured by a high ranking officer, had I known that's what it would take, I would have left the Normandy long before." His words were bitter, angry with each word, yet she couldn't stop the tears falling, the echoing of the smack across his cheek.

"Is… is that how you see me?" She pushed at him, her arm coming loose from his grip as she hopped down from the bed. "Some military whore?" Tears continued to fall as she pushed him again, the growling echoing around them. "Piss off with the growling!" Her biotics kicked in, a small surge of power leaving her. "I thought… out of anyone, you would understand… every time, every time you left I came crawling back. I bloody died and I came for you! The one, ONE fucking time I need you and you're jealous of someone actually caring? For fuck sakes I ignored his advances! But as long as it gives you a reason to leave!" With a shaky hand and her biotics pulsing around her she glared at him. "Leave. If that's how you think of me, leave."

"How the hell was I suppose to know!" His voice boomed, reaching her level of shouting. "The only time I saw the real you was either in the middle of battle or when Anderson was around." He let out a low growl, but she only stared at him.

"I'm sorry if my way of flirting is unconventional. Considering I grew up, by myself, in the military learning to hide my emotions no matter the cost." She spoke through her teeth, her legs starting to quiver. "I'm sorry for wanting to spar just so I could be close, the times I need my guns calibrated just to see you working. I'm sorry the night before the reapers meant nothing to you." Her hands balled into fists as her legs started to shake, she should sit, she knows, but she was to stubborn for her own good.

"Meant nothing?" She was surprised to hear his voice lower, the confusion across his face.

"I've lost so many people. Thane, Mordin, Ashley… all the names on the Normandy's walls are etched into my head Garrus. I thought, believed, that out of everything, I would have you. Clearly I was seen no more than your Commander 'blowing off steam'."

"Athera, that's not…" her legs gave out, a slight hissing pain but before her knees touched the ground his arm was around her waist, holding her up. "You're so stubborn." He shook his head as he helped her to the bed. She kept her head down, but his talons hooked under her chin, tilting her face upwards. "Clearly, we are not good at communicating." He let his forehead drop to hers, a quiet rumble going through him, sighing she closed her eyes. "I thought after you awoke, those feelings you had were gone, when the Primarch began visiting, you seemed to relax more each time. It didn't help he was practically claiming you and announcing it to the rest of us. I was angry, angry and hurt that you weren't turning him away, that your gaze followed him everywhere he went."

"In a day he lost his son, became a Primarch and had to listen to a human. He was thrown into a position he wanted no part in." She tilted her head back, her eyes opening as she looked at him. "I felt for him because I understood Garrus, he had no one, his men dead or on Palaven. Family gone. Then the weight of his people on his shoulders. I understood, it didn't mean that I was going to hop into bed because he showed he was interested. Is that what Turians think of humans?"

"Well, you don't have the best reputation for staying with one person."

"True, but sometimes it's not our fault." Her brows came together, thinking over how to explain. "There are some who do stay together until they perish together. There are some who believe they are will the one when they're betrayed. Cheated on or just left simply because they don't fancy. Others do not settle. That doesn't mean every human is the same. That would be like saying every Turian has a bondmate. Do you know how many Turians I found in the Afterlife trying to hookup with Asarians?" He chuckled at that, his hand coming up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I'm sorry." His hand stilled, his thumb rubbing softly against her cheek. "I just.. After finding you when -weapon used- crashed back into earth, watching you haul Anderson from the destruction around you. Victus taking an interest, I didn't… I thought I lost you for good."

"You're right." She chuckled as he tilted his head slightly. "We do suck at communicating." With little strength she had she pulled him to her, her lips crashing into his, her arms winding around his neck as his wound around her waist. She not only heard but felt the rumble that rolled from him, his grip tightened and she arched into him. They parted, their breathing laboured, but she remained close to him, not her wanting to let him go.

"No Shepard.."

She laughed as she brought him back in, mumbling her half into his mouth, his own laugh falling from him.

"Without Vakarian."

A.N. Hey guys, sorry if there is any spelling errors and such, did this one on my phone. Let me know what you think!

Also, I apologize for any of you following my stories that haven't been updated in awhile. I'm working on updated as soon as I can or, with a few of the stories, I'm redoing them altogether. If you have any feedback or questions, or things you want to be written, feel free to make suggestions!

Thanks for reading!!


End file.
